Cult of Personality: Ten (No, Eleven) Signs You May Belong to a Cult

November 19, 2010 at 2:40 pm  •  Posted in Humor by  •  1 Comment

Anusara Yoga founder John Friend stands before his kulu (aka cult)Your new friends may be cool, but when they ask for your bank account number, look out for these top 10 11 warning signs that you just joined a cult.

  1. The dress code for men and women is a flowing, one-piece outfit in the same color
  2. You are renamed by the head of the group after a plant, weather feature, or astronomy term.
  3. The group repeats strange activities that have no apparent outcomes.
  4. No one laughs when you accidentally show up in the dining hall with your flowing, one-piece outfit on backwards.
  5. Scientific terms like “energy” and “evolve” are used to describe personal growth, while words like “attunement” and “harmonization” and “instinctual” are used repeatedly in everyday conversations and always said with a supremely peaceful face.
  6. Every conversation involves someone lovingly touching your arm.
  7. You find yourself saying things like this to your family and friends: “People on the outside could never understand, but those of us in the community will continue to share its loving goodness.”
  8. Sex is associated with advancing to the next “level.”
  9. Morning meditation is followed by target practice.
  10. Synchronized drinking is a popular activity.
  11. Every time you try to leave, the members of the group hold an intervention–which involves talking about your feelings and the other people asking you “what’s this really about?” … until you admit that you were wrong and decide to stay.

Photo of John Friend, founder of Anusara Yoga: Reverie Hound

One Comment

  1. Alexandra / November 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm / Reply

    #4 is my favorite

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