Dick Cheney Redefines Friendship As Thousands Unfriend Mubarak

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February 8, 2011 at 6:58 am  •  Posted in Humor by  •  0 Comments

Cheney and Mubarak shaking hands at the Presidential Palace in CairoDick Cheney called Egypt’s Mubarak a “good friend.” Like FaceBook, Cheney is redefining what a friend actually is. Here’s what he means.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney said recently that Hosni Mubarak, aka the Pharaoh of Egypt, was a “good friend” to the United States.

But before you get your Dick-hating liberal panties all bunched in a knot, Cheney isn’t the first person to redefine the term “friend.” Facebook has been doing that since founder Mark Zuckerberg screwed over his college “friends” to create an online sensation that would itself redefine what a friend is.

In order to understand what Cheney is talking about, first you have to understand what he means by “friend.”


Hallmark Channel, in conjunction with The Oprah Winfrey Network and Wyoming Waterboards, presents

Dick Cheney’s A Friend is…

  • A “good” man.
  • An ally.
  • A friend from the standpoint of your interests, not just things other people care about.
  • Someone who helps you for a long time.
  • Someone who convinces other friends to help kick a bully out of the place you go shopping.
  • A true giver who lets you drive or fly through his property.
  • One of the first people to agree with what you say.
  • A friend of a lot of other folks that you do business with, work with and have dealt with.

Other People Who Made the Cut for Dick Cheney’s Friend List

  • Charlie Brown before the whole Jesus blasphemy
  • Hugo Chavez when he gave the United States what it wanted
  • Hitler for putting the French in their place
  • All of the correspondents on Fox News for agreeing
  • Mr. Halliburton
  • The guy he shot in the head
  • The Republican-Military-Industrial Complex

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia.

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