Mubarakology: Mubarak Has Left the Building, But Still Has the Power

February 11, 2011 at 10:07 am  •  Posted in Humor by  •  0 Comments

Hosni Mubarak emerged from anonymity to become one of the greatest stars of the Middle East.

His life burned bright, but was destined to end in tragedy. Today, he’s finally gone, but Mubarak still walks among us. Here is a quick look at the rise and fall of the man known to millions only as “Pharaoh.”

Skinny Mubarak

Fresh out of a small town near Memphis, Pharaoh was known for shaking his pelvis suggestively during speeches. Women swooned whenever he came on stage. Many even loosened their burqas to reveal their faces.

In this picture, Pharaoh rocks out with bandmate Anwar Sadat, founder and lead guitarist of the Delta blues/R&B group NDP. Critics accused Pharaoh of blatantly copying the music of Africans, to which he responded, “Here in Memphis, we’re all Africans, man.”

Young Mubarak 1981

Sexy Mubarak

With his shaking pelvis and finely coifed hair, Pharaoh was a real ladies man, swarmed by women wherever he went. This picture of some of his NDP groupies shows how excited they became whenever they heard him speak.

Egyptian women protesting against Mubarak

Fat Mubarak

Pharaoh’s ravenous appetites eventually caught up to him. His lust for fried foods, including peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Twinkies and Gebna Makleyah, left him bloated and unable to satisfy his wives. He traded in his NDP band uniform for more slimming black suits.

Mubarak making angry face

The Fall of Mubarak

Living large and smoking the hookah were too much for Pharaoh. In February 2011, after an apparent overdose of MEP, Middle East Power (known on The Street as Husseinity), Pharaoh left the building.

Dead Korean leader lying in state

The Rise of Mubarakology

News that Mubarak was gone only increased his Power. Amid rumors that he would one day return, his fans flocked to Heliopolis to show their support.

Protests outside Mubarak Palace

 And even if their beloved Pharaoh didn’t make an appearance, his fans never went home empty-handed.

Mubarak Souvenirs

Photos courtesy of:
Wall Street Journal

Frontlines of Revolutionary Struggle
Tundra Tabloids

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