Somebody call Linda Blair! Pope Francis can help! Exorcisms are two for the price of one until Christmas.
Pope Francis, the Pope of the Poor, has turned his attention to an equally pressing matter (one wholeheartedly embraced by former President George W. Bush)—stamping out evil everywhere (not just in countries with lots of oil).
As reported by the Telegraph, the Pope performed an exorcism on a wheelchair-bound young man during Mass on Sunday. While he didn’t publicly announce it as such, exorcism experts said that it was definitely “a prayer for liberation from Evil, an actual exorcism.”
We are, however, still waiting for comment from Linda Blair, the actress who played the possessed child in the classic movie, The Exorcist.
Linda Blair! Are you out there! Just a nod (or spin) of your head will do.
Pope Francis is bound to go down in the annals of history as the Pope of the masses (little-m mass, not big-M Mass). Possession (which is nine-tenths of the law, apparently) by evil is a true scourge of the modern world, right up there with obesity and Justin Bieber’s friends.
[Breaking news: Justin Bieber’s monkey just became the property of the German government … just what Germany needs. And it’s a better fate than the poor Ikea monkey who was forced to wear fur coats].
So, kudos to you, Pope Francis. Not every Pope gets his hands dirty with a good exorcism.
Up next: Pope Francis rids New York City’s sewers of those pesky ghosts. Take that, Bill Murray (former Ghostbuster, current deceased fake zombie).