Smart Electric Meters Threaten Your Civil Liberties!

January 31, 2011 at 10:27 am  •  Posted in Humor by  •  0 Comments

Smart electric meterFirst there were credit cards and supermarket cards. Now Smart Electric Meters threaten your liberties. Act now to protect your freedom.

Warning! Your civil liberties are once again threatened by smart electric meters!

First it was the Credit Card Machines tracking your visits to your “friend” across the state line and your lunchtime trips to Hooters. Then came the Supermarket Club Cards monitoring your usage of alcohol and petroleum jelly.

Now The Electric Company is gathering covert data on your activities and funneling that information to the CIA and the Department of Justice in exchange for access to the Congressional Health Insurance Plan.

Look at the face of your enemy–Smart Electric Meters. Memorize their evil faces well. You will need to respond quickly when you see it.

Smart Electric Meters will come in the middle the day while you are pretending to be at work, or nursing a Tall Boy in your recliner while watching The View. They will not be alone, so stay alert for their henchmen.

Bob the Builder waving

Don’t listen when The Electric Company tells you it’s all about saving money–it’s really about control! Smart Electric Meters are the sharp end of a very long spear pointed at your freedoms.

Egyptian hieroglyph of person with spear into groin and eyes

It’s time to stand up against the tyranny being imposed on you through the pernicious use of technology.

Steps to protect yourself from having your liberties skewered.

  • Avoid The Electric Company, or anyone you suspect might be collaborating with them. This includes barricading your doors, plugging your mail slots, and exploding your mail box with firecrackers.
  • Contact your local Tea Party office. They will provide you with sledgehammers and baseball bats to knock Smart Electric Meters senseless after they have attached itself to your house and started to suck on your liberties.
  • Join a movement, The Anti-Smart-Electric-Meter movement, bowel movement, or The Macarena. Just do it.
  • Write a letter to Fox News. Don’t bother with your local newspaper. They are all sympathizers with The Electric Company.
  • If all that fails, urinate on Smart Electric Meters until they roll over and die.

men urinating in a field

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