Ladies, if you think death (and reincarnation as a zombie) will save you from having to listen to the most painful pickup lines (like “I’m going to need a heart transplant, baby, because you stole my heart.”), think again.
If anything, being turned into a zombie will only make men more obnoxious than before. And, since you are also a zombie, you won’t have any peace (or should I say, eternal peace) from their crude advances.
Your best bet? Stop hanging out in cemeteries and warehouses … they are virtual meat markets for zombie pickups. Okay, they aren’t “virtual” meat markets, because zombies will eat just about anything, even if it’s the heart of the zombie woman with the cute drool and one leg twisted around backwards.
I drew this cartoon with a particular zombie deadline (aka pickup line of the dead) in mind, but I’m sure there are many more.
Submit your favorite never-fail zombie pickup line and I’ll post it here.
And who knows, if it’s a real winner, maybe there will be t-shirts. Sadly, we might have to wait until the zombie apocalypse to find out if it really helps you score some serious zombie tail.
Zombie Deadlines: Pickup Lines for After the Apocalypse
Cartoon: Zombie Deadlines, © 2013 by Shawn Radcliffe / Branáin